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The View

The View, Holyrood Abbey Church's Quarterly Magazine

Wrestling with the Angel

Roderick Shippin

Having recently graduated from St Andrews University, I can start to look back on my time there with some sort of focus! Most of my four years there were spent in a blur of activity…waking up, eating, having the occasional nap, waking up again, fitting in the odd lecture or trip to the library, struggling with study and eventually managing to escape with a degree.

Going to university brings a lot of independence. Fending for yourself means that you are suddenly less restricted in what you can do. There's no one to stop you staying up till 5 in the morning before an exam, to take a purely hypothetical example! You are responsible for organising and motivating yourself, as my painful struggles with early morning (and afternoon) lectures can testify.

There is also an increased mental independence. You have to work out for yourself what you believe in the context of an education which encourages critical thinking. In addition, meeting people with different beliefs and assumptions about life is often a challenge. This is especially true concerning spiritual matters. For me a tension sometimes existed between trying to defend my faith and realising that I was unsure of the foundations of that faith as I grappled with the issues that were raised. Was my faith based on anything more than upbringing and habit?

Over the course of my time at university, having to face these issues has resulted in the strengthening of my faith. I have been blessed with a number of supportive Christian friends. I have also been encouraged by some excellent teaching and preaching, particularly at the St Andrews Free Church, which built on the ministry that I have been privileged to receive from Phil, Murdo, Emma and others at Holyrood.

What I have most found myself clinging to, however, is the gospel at work in my own life as well as that of others. I have seen the difference that this can make in the lives of my Christian friends, and to those who have put their faith in Christ while I've known them.

Ultimately, it is important to face these issues boldly instead of skirting around them. It was through actively wrestling with the Angel that Jacob found his assurance and blessing. We should show equal boldness in the knowledge of a God who promises that if we ask, we shall receive.